La Di Da

What a day! I went in to work this morning and guess what greeted me? 11 orders that were due by 9 am. 10 of those were full sheets. No, I didn't get them all done by 9...LOL. It was 9:30. It was ok though...because the (teeth clenched together with a fake smile on my face) nice lady didn't come to pick the 10 full sheets up till 11:30. It would have been nice to know that before I rushed my ass off to get them done ASAP.

Oh well. It's all over. For today.

I have pretty much sat on my ass all evening. I did fix dinner for me and the kids, BBQ sandwiches, which they actually ate and liked! I'm going to try and get the dishes done up before I crash on the bed. The bed is looking pretty good though.

The kids go back to Joe tomorrow. It's a day early, but they are going to a sleep-over at their church. I hope they have a good time. I'm sure it will be better than being here...since I'm turning into a momma monster. Truth is, their constant fighting and bickering is pissing the hell out of me. I hate unloading on them, but there is only so much I can take. At least they're quiet...for now...LOL.

I was totally inspired today. I had an awesome idea for my story and during breaktime, I wrote it down. Then at lunch time, I wrote some more. I think I have two major plot points taken care of. I knew how I wanted the story to end, but didn't know how I was going to get there. Today I've come up with quite a bit of how that's going to happen. I'm so excited. I love it when that happens. I actually feel like I've got a real story on my hands. It's about time..huh?

Another lazy day

Off today.

As usual, I haven't done much. The meat I cooked overnight in the crockpot was pretty good. I think I'll probably put BBQ sauce with some of it and make a sandwich later. I was going to stick it on the grill for a bit but I'm rather lazy, not to mention it looks like it's going to rain. Was goign to have Mom over for dinner, but I haven't much cleaning so maybe I'll wait till tomorrow.

I got an email from Timothy. He wrote me a lovely poem. It almost made me cry. I think about him too much for my own good.

Sitting here listening to the radio. Checked my bank account. Not good but at least I'm not overdrawn. Don't get paid till friday. Sucks.

I'm hungry but I feel so lazy that I don't even want to get up to fix anything. Not to mention, all the dishes are dirty. I know, I'm such a bum. I wasn't always like this. It's happened in the last couple of years. It's really hard to break out of it too. I should start working out again. I have a membership...just haven't used it in a while. Brilliant, huh?

Well, my belly is giving me a hard time so I guess I better get motivated enough to at least go take care of it. Maybe I'll be back later.

Ciao!

lazy evening

Well, my day is almost done. All in all, it wasn't a bad day. Even the woman that bitched about her cake being wrong didn't faze me much. I think it bothered Brad though...LOL. He was the one that took the woman's order....wrong...LOL. To tell the truth, I kinda wanted to kick his ass myself. I was glad he was right there seeing what I had to deal with because of him. Maybe now he'll take a little more care with his cake orders.

Would you care to know what happened? Ok, I'll tell you anyway...LOL. I had a cake order for a cut-out cake in the shape of the number 10. The order said make black, blue, red and white. The only other details were that the woman wanted the inscription written with a star tip that is usually used for orders. I thought it rather strange, so I did the cake and thought I'd wait until they picked it up to verify that's what she actually wanted before writing on it. Well, she came to pick up the cake and hour later than the order said. I had almost finished cleaning up. The first thing that was wrong with it was that there were no balloons on it. Brad didn't write anything about balloons. I got out the colors again and started making icing bags for balloons. I also asked her about the writing. At this point, she started to act like she knew more than I do about decorating. I'm thinking "why am I the one doing this cake then?". You don't know how bad I wanted to tell her to do her own damn cake next time. I was pleasant though and maintained my cool. It's a whole lot easier to do that when it's someone else's mistake and not mine...LOL. When she started talking about how she didn't know how come her cake wasn't done right and how hard was it to make a cake how she wanted it, that's when I told her that there wasn't anything on the order that said anything about the balloons or the other stuff she didn't like about it. She proceeded to tell me that she "told that guy what she wanted specifically" and I cut her off by holding up her order and telling her that none of that was on the order that I had. She didn't say anything else but mumbled a few things and waited until I got done fixing her order. To tell the truth, I really thought she would go up there and complain, but no one came back and said anything.

That was pretty much the highlight of my day. It was rather amusing to see Brad get so flustered. I joked around with him a little about wanting to kick his ass. I told him he had to take out my trash for making that mistake. Truth be told, I would have asked him to take it out for me anyway...LOL.

I haven't really done much of anything this evening. I've been lazy. I know, surprising isn't it? I did get to talk to Deb for quite a while. It was a great conversation. I hadn't talked to her in a while. I'm such a bad friend. I got the country style beef ribs in the crockpot too. I'm going to cook them overnight and then slather them with BBQ sauce and throw them on the grill for a bit tomorrow. I'll invite Mom over for dinner. That will give me the motivation to clean...LOL. Mom can bring Ruby and I'll get to play with her a bit. She's such a sweet dog. I can't wait to babysit her when Mom goes to Branson next month.

And that's about all I did this evening. I had a good conversation online with Ronn. Told him to give Timothy a big sloppy kiss for me...LOL. I'm not thinking that's gonna happen.

Sitting here listening to my System of a Down compilation disk. I love it. They are the most awesome band ever. I wish they would get back together. I love Serj by himself, but I have to say that I like it better when they all work together. I would so do Serj though. I think he's so hot! One of the guys in my writing group, Travis, reminds me of him. He's pretty hot too. He's nice as well. I find him very interesting. He's no Serj though...LOL.

We had a really good writers meeting yesterday. We had two new ladies. One was very outgoing and knowledgeable and the other one was pretty quiet. I feel bad that I didn't get the chance to stay until the meeting was over so I could go over and talk to the quiet one. I hope she comes back. There seem to be a lot of people that join and either never go to a meeing or go to one and then never come back. We really are a fun bunch of people.

I've had an epiphany! I was thinking the other day about how getting my work critiqued might bother me a little but I don't let it get me down or take it personal. I was comparing it a little with my job. I found quite a lot of similarities in them both and I think that some of the things I've learned to deal with in my job are things that help me deal with criticism in writing. Anyhow, I've thought about exploring that a little more and maybe writing something about it. I have no idea how long a piece it's going to be or where it will lead, but I do know I would like to post it on the group site. Maybe someone else would get a little help from it. Who knows?

Well, I think it's time for me to head to bed. I'm beat. I know, I haven't done anything...LOL. I'm still beat though. It's been a rough week. I'm ready for my days off.

Ciao!

Lake day

Movin to the country, gonna eat me a lotta peaches....moving to the country, gonna eat me a lotta peaches....etc...you know how it goes.

Or maybe you don't. Anyway, I already live in the country and although I do like peaches, I grow none. I love the song though. The video is a hoot too.

Don't ask me why I'm writing about this...LOL. It was just in my head and it wanted out.

Getting ready to head to the lake with the boys. I love going to the lake. It's so nice to float around in the water. Jared has his floaties so I won't have to worry about him much this time. It's a good thing. I don't plan on wearing my new glasses into the water...so don't worry this time...LOL. I think I've learned my lesson.

Well, time to go. Jared is about to have a fit waiting on me. I still have to check the bank account.

Ciao!

Argh!

Second day back at work. Tired as hell. I have to get used to getting up early all over again. What am I saying? I wasn't used to it before my vacation...LOL. Does anyone ever really get used to getting up before daylight?

Had a wonderful writers meeting last night. I love everyone there. I get to know new people better all the time. Everyone is so talented. It's wonderful to see the ideas that come from different people. I can't wait till someone gets published. It will be a celebration for us all.

Timothy and I have been talking more. I hesitate to write about him in here, but isn't that the whole point of this? To get used to writing about personal things when you realize someone else might be reading them? I miss him. I can't really tell anyone that though. If I did, I would only be berated for it. I can't help it though. He knows me like no one else. I realize he's not perfect. I'm not either. There were several problems that we had living together. Now that we're not living together, those things kinda fade into the background and it's easy to focus on all the reasons I fell for him in the first place. No, he's not moving back to OK. To tell the truth, I don't know what will end up happening. Maybe we'll end up getting back together again someday. We have some things that we need to work through before that happens though. I have a lot of issues that I need to deal with personally and I'm sure Timothy does as well. It's really nice to be on good terms with him again though. I missed talking to him. I could say anything to him and he wouldn't be shocked or look at me like I was crazy. And let me tell you, I told him some weird shit. If you knew all the freaky stuff that goes on in my brain, some of it which I have done, you'd probably leave me the hell alone...LOL. The good thing is...people can't read minds, and my outward appearance is deceptively mild. The reality is...I miss being able to talk to someone that knows all my shit and doesn't care...loves me despite it all. He was my best friend at one time. I miss that.

Ok, I think that's personal enough for now. I'm feeling all anxious just divulging that. Gotta start somewhere though. Who knows, maybe someday I'll give up all my sexual secrets in here. Don't hold your breath though...LOL. I have intentions of turning that stuff into a novel someday.

I"m totally wiped. Yesterday was ok, but today just took it all out of me. I had a really hard time getting out of bed this morning and it didn't get any better throughout the day. I didn't even take a lunch because I thought I'd fall asleep. I feel like falling asleep right now. It's a little early though. Ok, I'm also waiting to see if Timothy comes online. I can't wait forever though. I'm dead on my feet. I definitely need a good nights sleep. Tomorrow I won't get one. I gotta get up early Saturday morning...3:30! I want to be able to go to the writers meeting. I don't want to miss it. I would be totally bummed out if I did.

Ok, enough for now. I'm having a hard time putting coherent thoughts together, much less getting my fingers to type them down.

Ciao for now!

say it isn't so

My last day off! I can't believe my vacation is almost over. There are only a few more grains of sand in the hourglass. The sad part is that today is the best day I've had the whole week. Ok, so the whole period thing screwed it all up. I will take that into consideration the next time I plan a vacation. Trust me on that one.

It's hard to make up for lost time when you only have one day left. I've been giving it a good try though. I've tackled the bathroom and so far I've organized the closet very nicely. I hate telling on myself like this but I found things that got put in there years ago that I'd forgotten about. Next I'm going to tackle the dining room. I have a tall stand with a mirror and small drawer that I need to get out of there. It totally clashes with the decor (in my best prissy voice). I need to do some major organizing too. Then on to the kitchen! I think it's impossible for me to get ALL the dishes done at one time. I'm going to give it another shot this evening though.

And if I get tired of doing all that, I could sure spend some time working in my novel. I wanted to get done with Chapter 6 this week but I'm only halfway done. I know exactly what I want to do with the other half, it's just sitting down to do it. I know, I'm sitting right now...huh? I didn't intend to be sitting here this long though...honest. I don't even have any clothes on. I stripped and threw them in the washer with the sheets and was going to head to the shower, but I got pulled in by the siren song of the computer and it sucked me in. Don't worry, I live in the middle of nowhere, no one is going to see my nakedness.

Actually, I can think of two times my love of being naked has backfired on me. Once, I walked into the living room to get some clothes off the couch (where they got dumped from the dryer). My couch sits directly in front of the big picture window in the living room. Since I live in the middle of nowhere, I leave my curtains wide open almost all the time. Unbeknownst to myself, the UPS guy had driven up and was in the process of walking up the steps to the front porch when I decided to get my clothes. I made Timothy answer the door while I hid in the bathroom. The other time was unfortunately my older son. In all fairness, they were at their daddy's and I was home alone. I was naked and sitting at the computer...again. All of a sudden, the front door opens and Joseph walks in and sees me naked at the computer...LOL. Not a good scenario. I'm sure he thought bad things. I tried to explain that I have a tendency to go clothesless when they aren't here, but that didn't help much. (note to reader: I wasn't having cyber sex, honest)

And here I am sitting around on the computer again, naked. I have the door locked...LOL...just in case.

I guess I better go jump in the shower...and then get some clothes on...LOL. I have lots to do.

Ciao!

nearing the end

One more day.

I don't want to go back to work. I know, I can't sit here on my ass all day and do nothing forever. It sure has been fun though. I can't wait until I get another 40 hours built up so I can take another week to do more nothing.

I really haven't thought about anyone at work this week. I hate to say it...but I haven't missed them. I guess it makes me realize that I don't have any close friends there. Sure, there are lots of people I like, but none that I couldn't do without. Sounds harsh, doesn't it? Hey, I told you I pretty much keep to myself.

I've pretty much wasted today just like I've wasted most of the other days of my vacation. I did take out the trash and go get my tired fixed. Oops, strike that. I got it replaced...because they couldn't fix it. There went another $75 I didn't have. I swear I'm beginning to feel like singing that old Hee Haw song...if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

Hey Universe! What's the deal? What did I do to piss you off?

I've been doing some cooking lately. Usually my cooking consists of heating up fish sticks or opening a can of soup but I made potato pancakes yesterday and salmon patties today. I also made chicken and homemade noodles this evening. I'm going to get the country style ribs out of the freezer tomorrow and cook them on the grill. Mmmm. I love cooking on the grill.

Well, I don't really have any funny anecdotes for you because I've been all alone the last few days and the conversations I have with myself are sadly lacking in comedic value. I could tell you about the fascinating conversations I've had with a few men in the chat rooms, but they weren't really all that fascinating and didn't last much past the point where they ask me my bra size...LOL.

Ok, I've waste enough of my time and yours. I'll save us both and stop now.

Ciao!

Another one bites the dust

Another day of my vacation is over. I had great plans for this day as I'm sure you saw from my earlier post. I did not get done all that I had intended. I'm sure this comes as no surprise to those of you who know me at all...LOL. I did get some dishes done and the kitchen cleaned a little (very little). I also made some Jello shots! I have not tried them yet, but I may kick back a couple before going to bed.

I actually did some writing today! I worked on my assignment for my writing group and my novel. I'm so proud of myself. I hope to finish the writing assignment before Wednesday's meeting. I don't think it will be a problem. It's coming along nicely. If it turns out really good, I may end up sending it in to a magazine. I really would like to do that. I just want to get something published...anything. It would be really cool if it paid too...LOL.

Well, I've about had it for the evening. I'm beat. It's hard doing nothing all day...LOL. I gotta get some good rest because I got a lot of nothing to do tomorrow too. Actually, I have to go get my tire fixed. I can't drive around on my donut forever. I hope it's fixable. I may cry if I have to buy another tire. Surely the Universe wouldn't be that cruel, would it?

I'll let you know.

Ciao!

vacation

Well, it's Sunday. My vacation is going to be over soon. I may have to go back to work Wednesday...depends on the new schedule. I haven't really accomplished anything this week. I don't even feel like I spent very good quality time with my kids. I went down to my brother's and saw his house and the church he started. Then we went to my Dad's and visited a bit before heading home. I don't think Joseph had a very good time. He took his game system but forgot the cords to hook it up. Jared had a pretty good time though. It will probably be a while before I head back there again.

I think there is something going on with me. I don't know what it is or if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I find myself increasingly avoiding contact with people. It seems to be a struggle to interact with them. I find myself just wanting to be by myself and I don't know why. It's not like that all the time....but it's getting like that more and more. It worries me. I didn't used to be like that. Maybe it's hormones. I do believe I'm pre-menopausal. I've got to find a way to get out of this funk though.

Ok, enough about my personal problems. Today I'm going to get my ass in gear and do something around here if it kills me. My house is a PIT! I'll put my System of a Down compilation CD in the player and I'm sure it will motivate me to do something around here. Getting something accomplished always makes me feel better. I should probably jump in the shower first too. I didn't take a shower yesterday. I told you I was in a funk...LOL.

I don't want to go back to work. I know I have to....but why can't I find a wealthy man who's everything I ever dreamed of that will take care of me? I know...it's a fairytale...a myth. I really don't need a man to take care of me anyway. I miss the sex though. That's probably the one thing I miss the most. I love all that physical contact...all those bodily fluids going everywhere. Timothy and I had some good sex too...when we had it...LOL. There at the end it was pretty much non-existant. Ok, I'm all over the place here...LOL. I think it's time to stop this and go jump in the shower and get motivated. I'll let you know how it all works out today.

Ciao!

In a hurry

Good morning,

It's 5:51 by my computer clock, so I don't really have a lot of time to chat, but I thought I'd stop in and say hello.

I haven't written in a while and a lot of things have happened lately. Ok, not really a lot...but Saturday was pretty eventful...and BUSY! First I had the writers group meeting. That meant I had to get my ass out of bed at 3:30am. Yes, that's AM! It was worth it though. I think it was the best meeting ever. We had a lot of people and I, for one, learned a few things. I just hope I retain them...lol.

I have so much more interest in writing now than I did when I started this group. It's so inspiring. It makes me want to write all the time. I have several different things going at the moment. One is my novel, of course, and then I have the writing exersice that I have started and I am going to try my hand at writing a magazine article about my experiences at the casino where I saw the Chippendale's.

Oh yeah, I saw the Chippendale's Saturday evening. Let me tell you, it was awesome! I went with the girls. I wasn't going to go at first, due to the 500-some odd dollars I have had to spend lately on glasses and car repair, but Loretta came to my rescue and bought me a ticket. It was so nice of her. As crappy as it made me feel to have someone else buy my ticket, I'm glad she did. It was a blast. The music was awesome, their performances were even more awesome and getting to touch some rock hard, sweaty, mostly naked men was out of this world! I would do it again in a heart-beat.

It was really nice to get to spend time with the girls too. I always have a great time when we get together. We are all so different but it doesn't matter. I think it's good for me to socialize like that. I'm really pretty much a solitary person and sometimes I see me closing myself off from people when I'm not required to be around them, like at work. I don't like it, but sometimes it feels like such an effort for me to socialize. It seems so much more comfortable to keep to myself and live in my head. It makes me feel like I'm not exactly the best choice for a friend sometimes.

Ok, this wasn't exactly where I was wanting to go this morning. Must have been a detour somewhere. Look at the time! I guess I better post this and get my ass in the shower.

Kids come back today! I also find out if I get my week of vacation today too. Wish me luck. I need some time off.

Ciao!

5 Chapters

5 Chapters! I have 5 Chapters of my story written now! Ok, so it's only 26 pages. I'm still excited about it. I have so much more to go though. I have a whole notebook full of ideas that still need to be written. Sometimes I wonder if this book will end up being 500 pages...LOL. I'll give J.K. Rowling a run for her money...LOL. Hey, it could happen.

Jared is still at church camp but he comes home tomorrow. Joseph is spending the night at a friends. As much as I talk about liking my time alone when the kids are at their Daddy's, I do miss them sometimes. Tonight I wondered what it will be like when they are grown and they have their own lives and they don't "come back from their Daddy's" anymore. I miss them already. That is the way of things though. Change.

I will adapt and survive.

Who knows what the future will hold? It's full of so many possibilities. Will I spend the rest of my life single or will I find Mr. Right? Will I become a much publicized author, raking in royalties or will I give up on writing for some other interest? These and many more questions assail my thoughts from time to time. Who knows? Me, being an optimist, I like to ponder the happier possibilities of my future. What's the sense in pondering the bad possibilities? I have enough things to worry about without piling more on.

Well, I think I'm going to call it a night. I just wanted to shout to the world my joy in what I've accomplished so far on my story.

Ciao!

Blah

I'm not having a very productive day off. Feeling rather blah, actually. I wish I could get motivated to get off my ass and get something done.

But here I sit.

At least I don't feel so bad about sitting here now that I'm writing in my journal. Of course, I should be writing on my story. I should be doing quite a lot of other things as well. Maybe that's the problem, it's all too overwhelming for me. I realize that if I could get up and start doing something, that would give me some momentum to keep going. I really am going to have to get off here soon and give Mom a call and have her take me to the shop to pick up my car.

YES! My car is fixed. Unfortunately, it's going to cost $100 more than I thought it was. They found something else wrong with it when they had it up in the air. Tie rods? Something like that. I can't remember. They said they had to go ahead and fix it though or my wheel would have fallen off. Not good. I need those. I'm really, really going to be poor for the next month now.

I got my car fixed though! YEAH!!!! I love my car. Not as much as I love my bed, shhh don't tell, but I love it a LOT! It ranks a very close second.

Got Jared off to church camp this morning. Mom, after picking me up from dropping the car off in the shop, took us to get Jared and we all went to IHOP for breakfast. I have to agree with Jim Gaffigan, I didn't much feel like hopping afterwards...LOL. Jared sure did though. Couldn't get that boy to settle down. He's going to have a great time at Camp.

Well, I guess I better peel myself out of this chair and see about getting my car. I'm hoping that will motivate me to get something done around the house. I would be embarrassed to have company right now. Who am I fooling...it pretty much stays like that...LOL.

Maybe I'll surprise myself and get a lot of writing done this evening. One can dream.

Ciao!

Happy Independence Day!

Happy 4th! I hope you are having a great one. Mine has been ok so far. I had to work today. Yeah, that sucks, but it was probably the best Saturday I've had in a long time. It was an easy day. Of course that made it seem like it went on forever...LOL. I know, there is no pleasing me.

Christina and I had a pretty enjoyable day, all in all. We laughed and joked around a lot. She complained about how hot it was once, to which I replied, "I'm sorry, I thought I was standing far enough away"....LOL. We have a good time at work, when we're not stressing over orders.

The children went back to their Daddy's today. I have blessed peace and quiet this evening. I need it. Last night was not so tranquil. After having my beloved children for 4 days, I start to fray around the edges. I know, what would I do if I had them all the time?..LOL. For one thing, I wouldn't cater to their whims as much as I do now. It seems like we're always doing something or going somewhere when they're here. I try to make the time they are here enjoyable. It takes a lot out of me though. I need my peace and quiet time. I don't think Jared knows what that means...LOL.

Jared will be heading off to church camp on Monday. I'll be taking him to the church, but I won't get to see him this week. When he comes back it will be time for them to go back to their Daddy's again. He enjoys it though. There is no way I could tell him he couldn't go to church camp. It would break his little heart.

I guess I should stop here for a bit. I can smell the chicken cooking. I'm making chicken and noodles for dinner...yummm. I've already had my dessert.....ice cream...LOL. Well, I knew it would take a while for the chicken and noodles to get done. I couldn't wait.

Ciao for now

Day at the Beach

Well, I didn't get the chance to entertain you yesterday with stories about the day at the lake. I shall attempt to remedy that now. I can't promise you that it will be all that entertaining though.

We got a little later of a start than anticipated. It was cool though. We got our sandwiches made, the sodas in the cooler (no ice yet) and towels, blanket and sunscreen. We were out the door. We had to stop and get chips....then stop and get ice. We were on our way. The whole time I kept thinking how nice it was going to be out there. Surely it wouldn't be busy. It was Wednesday, and in the middle of the day.

I was wrong.

It was still cool though. All the other lake-goers provided entertainment of their own. There was the young guy and girl, beautiful specimens of nature, who couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. Then there were several ladies, dotted here and there, who, I'm sorry to say, were not such beautiful specimens of nature and who had the audacity to display their less than bikini perfect bodies in none other than....bikinis. They must not own full length mirrors. That is the only explanation I can figure.

Yes, yes, I'm quite aware of the fact that I do not possess a bikini bod either. But then, you wouldn't catch me out there in one. I don't own a bathing suit of any sort. No, I do not swim naked...LOL. I would, if I were the only out there...I love being naked, but I don't think I could trust that to ever happen. It's a rather popular swimming beach.

Onward to one of the highlights of the day. I lost my glasses! Yes, I am aware that I should not have been wearing them in the water. Without them though, I cannot make out which two of the bobbing heads in the water belong to me. I took a gamble...I lost. I wasn't too awful upset about it though. I needed new glasses. No, I really couldn't afford the $240 that it cost me to replace them, but it's nice to have new glasses.

I'm stylin'.

Ok, so one of the pair I got is bifocals...not so stylish...but the other pair are single-vision and cool looking. I'll be wearing them most of the time.

What really hurts my pocketbook right now is that I need to get a bearing replaced on my car. That's going in the shop Monday and is going to cost me at least $230. OUCH! I'm going to be more broke than Humpty Dumpty for a while. It's a good thing I got 3 paychecks this month.

 Eh, things go wrong, things break, that's the way of life. I'm just thankful that it didn't happen until I did have the money to fix it all. Perspective....it's all in how you look at things. I can't complain. I seem to always manage to do what needs to be done.

Well, I think that pretty much does it for now. The children of the corn are waiting impatiently for me to take them to the YMCA this evening. Wow, that sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Did I veil the sarcasm enough or did it seep through? LOL

Smell ya later...

Ciao!