Bored

Here I am, sitting at the computer at 12:30 at night (morning?). I just finished watching Eagle Eye. It was a pretty good movie. Shia is pretty HOT. I love how it ended. Of course, they do that sort of stuff because they know that's what women want to see...happy endings. Actually, I guess even guys like to see that...LOL. I mean, after all, if you're going to pay to watch a movie, you don't want it to be like real life...LOL.

I'm off tomorrow. I'm so ready for it. I just get the one day though and then it's 5 more till I get off again. I'll be off Sunday and Monday. Woo Hoo! Two days off in a row. I love it. I haven't really done anything this evening. I took a nap...LOL. Does that count? I was tired though. This weekend wiped me out. I'm hoping that I'll feel more like doing something tomorrow. On the plus side, I've felt like writing! In the last few days I've come up with several ideas for my story, most of it about the ending. I've decided to write a more in depth outline as well. I've got 3 pages of it written so far (and it still hasn't got to the part where Jared goes to get the other kids). I'm so excited about it. I should actually be writing more right now...but I haven't written in here for a while....so here I am. Thought you might like an update. Not that there's really anything worthy of a news flash happening in my life. I guess that can be a good thing though. News flashes aren't always good.

I've been thinking a lot lately about finding a special someone for my life. Not that I'm looking. I didn't mean to imply that. I've just been wondering lately if I will ever find someone again. I've been talking to Timothy lately and sometimes I would really like to get back together with him. I don't know if that will ever happen or even if it's a good thing, but I miss the companionship I had with him at one time. I miss the sex too. Boy, do I miss the sex. I miss the kissing, licking, sucking. I miss his hands all over my body. I miss the feel of his hairy chest on my breasts. I miss what it feels like to be FUCKED! (sorry to those who find that offensive)

I wonder if I'll ever have that again.

Timothy says he loves me. He says he'd like to be with me again, live with me again. I'm not sure I could jump right into that again. I would like it if he moved back to OK, but I'm not sure about the living together thing. I can't go back to how it was. He doesn't think he could afford to live here on his own. We both have conditions. I don't know what will happen. I have one big condition that I'm not sure Timothy will ever meet. I need him to get a license and a car. Ok, so that's really two conditions...LOL. It was one of the main reasons things went bad between us though. He didn't drive. I had to take him everywhere. I even had to get up early on my days off and take him to work and then go get him. After 4 years of that you build up a little resentment. It wears you out too. With 2 kids as well, it felt like I was always planning my life around everyone else's needs. Call me selfish, I'll agree, but I like having time for me, to do what I want to do, even if it's nothing.

So, I don't know what the answer is. That statement pretty much covers a lot of area with me...LOL. I don't know a lot of things. It's ok too. I don't have to know it all. What's the fun in that? I like surprises. Life is full of them too. Not all of them good ones...but I'll take the bad with the good. What choice do I have? I won't let the bad ones ruin my pleasure for the good ones.

Well, I think I've bared my soul and touted my philosophies enough for one night (morning?). It is now 1 am and I think I'm about ready to throw in the towel. My bed is calling to me. It loves me. I love it too and tell it so all the time. I wouldn't want it to feel unappreciated.

Ok, maybe I'll have more to write about tomorrow. Who knows what it will bring? I'm off, so chances are it's going to be pretty mundane, but one never knows. Since I plan on doing housework and yardwork, I'm kinda hoping for mundane. The only surprises I can think of happening tomorrow aren't good ones.

Ciao!